De-junking

I've been De-junking my room lately, getting ready to move off to college... and I found this paper I got in seminary back in 9th grade about Joseph Smith. It talks about how some people just can't swallow the story of Joseph Smith translating the Golden Plates. Well, here are some facts or conditions that must be complied with in order for someone else to produce a similar record under comparable conditions...

1. You must be between 23 and 24 years of age.

2. You cannot be a college graduate. In fact, you can only have three years of formal schooling.

3. Whatever you write must be on the basis of what you know.

4. You must write a book with 239 chapter; 54 of them about wars, 21 about history, 55 about prophecy, 71 about missionaries, and 21 about the mission of Christ.

5. You must include in your writings the history of two distinct and separate nations, along with histories of different contemporary nations or groups of people.

6. Your writings must describe the religious, economic, social and political cultures and institutions of these two nations.

7. You must weave into your history the religion of Jesus Christ and the pattern of Christian living.

8. When you start to produce this record, covering a period over 1,000 years, you must finish it in approximately 80 days.

9. When you have finished, you must not make any changes in the text. The first edition must stand forever.

10. After pauses for sleep and food, if you are dictating to a stenographer, you must never ask to have the last paragraph or last sentence read back to you.

11. Your history or record must be long, approximately 522 pages with over 150 words per page.

12. You must announce that your "smooth narrative" is not fiction, but true; yes, sacred history.

13. In fact, it must fulfill the Bible prophecies; even int he exact manner in which it shall come forth, to whom give, and its purpose and accomplishments.

14. You must publish it to every nation, kindred, tongue and people, declaring it to be the word of God.

15. You must include with the record itself this marvelous promise; "And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask of God the Eternal Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, if these things are not true; and if he shall ask with a sincere hear, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost."

16. Tens and hundred of thousands must bear record to the world for the next 175 years that they know the record to be true, because they put the promise to the test and found it to be true, the truth manifested to them by the power of the Holy Ghost.

17. Thousands of great men, intellectual giants and scholars must subscribe discipleship to the record and its movement even to the point of laying down their lives.

18. Your descriptions of the cultures in these civilizations of which you will write about is not known when you publish your manuscript.

19. There can be no flaw whatsoever in the entire body.

20. Yet, you must not make any absurd, impossible, or contradictory statements.

21. Even so, many of the facts, ideas, and statements given us as true in your record must be entirely inconsistent, even the direct opposite of the prevailing beliefs of the world. Very little is even claimed to be known about these civilizations and their 1,000 years of history.

22. You must invite the ablest scholars and experts to examine the text with care. You must strive diligently to see that our book gets into the hands of all those most eager to prove it's forgery and who are most competent to expose any flaw in it.

23. Thorough investigation, scientific evidence and archaeological discoveries for the next 175 years must verify your claims and prove even the minutest details of your history to be perfectly true.

24. After 175 years of extensive analysis, no claim or fact in the book is dis proven, but all is vindicated. Other theories and ideas as to its origin, rise, and fall, leaving your claims as the only possible ones.

25. Internal and external prophecies must be confirmed and fulfilled in the next 175 years.

26. Three honest, creditable witnesses must testify to the whole world that an angel from heaven appeared to them and showed them the ancient records from which you claim your record is translated.

27. You must call out of heaven the voice of the Redeemer to declare to the three witnesses that your record is true and that it is their responsibility to bear testimony, and that they do.

28. Eight other witnesses must testify to the world that they saw the ancient records in broad daylight and they handled them and felt the engraving thereon.

29. The first three and the second eight witnesses must bear their testimony, not for profit or gain, but under great personal sacrifice, persecution, and even to their death.

30. You must find someone to finance your book with the understanding that he nor you will ever receive any monetary remuneration from it. You must sell the book at cost or less.

31. Finally, after suffering persecution and revilement for 20 years after you finish the book, you must willingly give your own life for your testimony that the record is from God.